The secret to surviving in New York- At my age I have no idea. It's scary. So freaky. Sometimes you feel like you've got it all figured out. In reality, you don't. But those moments feel pretty empowering. One word of advice: if you're anything like me, you love to be kept busy, but hate "go go go". Take it how it is. I just moved into an apartment alone. A studio to be exact. I used to live with three of my best friends. No worries at all though. Another thing that's lonely: when you basically loose 3 best friends in a matter of 2 months. Not even on purpose. I haven't necessarily "lost" a best friend in a while. Usually it's just drifting. This time it's different though. It's tough but you have to learn to work with it. Sometimes work through your problems- sometimes work out of them and cut negative things out of your life completely. Tough. Real tough. It's terrifying being in a huge city alone. Having no one to come home to. No one for you to cook dinner for or watch dumb reality shows with. Don't get me wrong, living alone (for the past week- 8 days to be exact), have been kinda nice.. But at night, so exhaustingly lonely. This kind of kick started what I'm about to write about next. Going back to what I said: I love being busy. I like to have stuff to do whether it's watching a movie w friends, shopping, walking alone around Manhattan, etc. But ever since I've had so much alone time and time to think about more than just partying, going to school, and going to work.. I've had this perseverance and desire to do more with my life then just those things. I ended up getting in contact with one of my favorite designers. It's such a surreal feeling to think he has the time of day to communicate with me. I am going to one of his events this Friday for fashion week- which I'm stoked about. I can't wait to chat with him there, and even if I don't get the chance- just to be in that environment where people are all there for one reason, music and fashion. Half of my life in two words. I also volunteered for my old internship to work fashion week this week to prep and also next week at a show. Pretty cool I have these opportunities, but also putting more on my plate- something I do rarely- not the norm. The other two words I would use to describe my life are travel and good company. But seriously. That's when I'm happiest... when I combine all of those four words together: music, fashion, travel, good company. That's why I shop for outfits to wear when I travel and go to live music events with my good friends. Nothing in this world is better. I wish I could live in a hotel room forever. What I want to pursue is becoming a successful stylist for musicians and bands and travel and go to events and on tour. Dream. Come. True. There's three people in my life I am more than thankful for. I know who they are. And so do they. On another note, this is me reminding myself how lucky I am. The incredible opportunities I had this summer from Europe to tour to everything in between, I am so so so lucky. I need to remember that. People would love to go to Europe, love to be traveling around the country seeing one of their favorite bands with their best friends, to live in their own apartment in NYC, to go to school, to get a job, to live, to breathe. I hope I reread this when I feel down. To remember I am stressed about things that I am lucky to even have. I have so much to look forward to. When things get down I try to think of my favorite quote, which is also a tattoo I have on my arm. It's always darkest before the dawn.
5 Seconds of Summer
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